Superman's Boss
See Superman's Boss.
His name is Perry.
Perry is the editor of The Daily Planet.
Edit, Perry, edit.
Perry yells a lot.
Why does he yell?
One of his two star reporters is a mild-mannered milksop who's never around, and the other is constantly throwing herself out of windows in order to get a date for Friday night.
Plus there's a snot-nosed punk kid constantly calling him 'Chief'.
Wouldn't you yell a lot, too?
Superman's
Pain-in-the-Keister
See the sports anchor for the WGBS Evening News.
His name is Steve.
Steve is a jerk.
A loud-mouthed, obnoxious, practical joke playing, ex-jock jerk.
In other words, he is a stereotype.
Stereotype, stereotype, stereotype.
Steve is also a bully.
He targets Clark because he knows that Clark won't fight back.
Wimp, wimp, wimp.
No wonder Lois never gave him a tumble.
Superman's Galpal
See Superman's Friday night girl.
Her name is Lois.
She is a frustrated woman.
Frustrated, frustrated, frustrated.
Why is she frustrated?
After all, she has a good job, lots of respect, and potential love interests falling all over themselves to go out with her.
Everyone should she be so lucky.
Unfortunately - and with all due apologies to Larry Niven and John Gray -
Men are from Krypton, and Women Are Made of Kleenex.
Superman's Sycophant
See Superman's best friend.
No, not Krypto - the one with the bowtie.
His name is Jimmy.
Jimmy chases news stories to become a reporter.
Scoop, Jimmy, scoop.
Jimmy calls himself 'Mr. Action'.
His girlfriend Lucy doubtlessly begs to differ.
Jimmy also has a sub-sonic signal watch that Superman gave him for emergencies.
Zee, zee, zee.
Someday, Superman is going to grind Jimmy into paste for giving him one too many migraines.
Superman's Alter Ego
See the nebbish in the drab blue suit.
His name is Clark.
His foster mother named him after her maiden name.
Or maybe after a candy bar.
Clark is a reporter and news anchorman.
This means that millions of people read and hear him every day.
All of them supposedly fooled by a different outfit, a different part, and a prescription-free pair of glasses.
There is a word that describes people like this.
Idiots, idiots, idiots.
Superman's Id
This is Superman's id.
The id is the part of the psyche that is totally unconscious and is the source of instinctual impulses and demands for immediate satisfaction of primitive needs.
Superman's id is very repressed.
His boss and co-workers mock and ridicule him.
He can't consummate a relationship with a woman.
(Of the two people who can keep up with him physically, one's a family member, and the other one is an Amazon princess who's into ropes and chains. Talk about intimidation.)
The rest of the super-human community keeps insisting that he set a good example for everyone else.
No wonder that he likes to hide out in the Arctic.
(Apologies to Paula Smith and Phil Foglio.)
- NP
